Leaving home. Again.

"This feeling...

its so familiar."

4 weeks ago, I was due for a student theological course in my church (True Jesus Church). While I had been looking forward to it all the while, I was having second thoughts overshadowing my excitement.

i.e. I was lazy to pack.

*coughs* Well, that's only one of the reasons. Deep down, I honestly felt a little sian that having 3 weeks subtracted off my holidays just like that (especially since the hols end soon of after that). Before the course started on 2nd Dec I had already visited 10-odd shopping malls, and hung out with 20-odd of my acquaintances. However, I knew I hadn't even scraped a fraction of Singapore's shopping centres (a good fren pointed that i *still* need more life lols) and I wanted to do more. Furthermore, school had been so hectic this year I was about to crack, so this holiday was supposed to be for me to slack off lor... =(

What's more, my reasearch project is due soon. (oh crap. i just noticed.)

So yea... before the course, I felt excitement and yet at the same time I felt a sense of... whaddya call it... um... reservation?

Of course, thankfully, through the course I gradually felt that the time spent there was worth it (for those who are concerned over what I wrote above, do not worry)

NOW.

After a week back home, I suddenly find myself compelled to pack up my stuff again, in the same way as I did 4 weeks ago, with the same large luggage, with the same huge pile of neccesities (albeit with a few new clothes, those new clothes are really cool) , awaiting the same long stay away from home.

What's it with staying away from home that's so great?

The independence you gain?

The rules you have to obey?

The friends you meet?

The experiences that await you?

If you want me to be honest, I still prefer staying at home.

No, don't get me wrong. All those above are in some way or another cool with me. But I'm once again feeling the same thing as I did last time. A sense of... um... well I can't think of any word for this feeling except reservation.

I can't bear to leave my home. (again)

I can't bear to part with my bed. (again)

I can't bear to part with my messy desk. (again)

I can't bear to lose the times where I can just sit back in my room and do whatever I want (considering that thr's STUDY TIME -.-)

Sigh. Oh well. Time to accept reality. Off to pack up the remaining stuff I need for my check-in. =)